Days of Pine and Roses

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Tonight, as I sat outside and gazed up at the almost starless blue- gray night sky, my thoughts drifted off to childhood days, and those long summer nights that were never wasted. Each magical night spent out in the moonlight with millions of stars twinkling above me remains forever a part of who I am.

On those long ago summer nights, the sky wore a jet black dress covered in millions of stars that twinkled like diamonds. Tall, loblolly pines stretched hungrily towards the sky. Their shadows cast long arms across the grassy yard. Some nights, I’d just gaze up through their branches into the depths of that sea of stars and wonder what mysteries our universe held. On occasion, my dad would join me. We’d sit out on the front porch steps or on the trunk of our Pontiac, and he’d paint wonderful stories as he pointed out stars, constellations, and far-away planets.

Those summer nights felt free and easy. No cares, no fears, just the night sounds of crickets chirping, locusts sawing their noisy tunes, and my siblings and I running free. Back then,  freedom came easy, and simplicity was its name. Experiencing simple joys was second nature, so we just took it for granted that it would always be so. I loved having the freedom to run through the darkness of our yard, dodging trees as we chased little flashing fairies. Sometimes, we caught them and put them in jars. Then their magic would light up our room at night. 

So, tonight, under a bluish gray, not so dark night sky, I gazed up at the big dipper and a bright full moon… and in that moment, I drifted back to that precious time and place where only the happy memories dwell. Memories I will always treasure and remember well.

So, as you drift to sleep tonight, I wish you all the blessing of happy memories, too.

S.k.E

Life, Liberty, and the Pusuit of …

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I grew up in the red dirt of East Texas, walking barefoot everywhere, and never worrying about much. Freedom came easy back then. I spent my days climbing trees, listening to the birds sing, playing hard, and then snuggling under my bed covers at night feeling tired, safe, and worn out.

When Autumn came, my school days were filled with many adventures, too. The books, the music, the history lessons jump-started my imagination and took me on new and wondrous adventures.

In many ways, I long to go back to those simpler days. However, the world has changed. Women have come a long way, and they have made great strides in overcoming the stigma of being the “weaker sex.” Yet, one who thinks of himself as God wants to put women back in their place. For myself, I don’t want to go there. In the past, I protested, I carried signs, and I marched for women’s rights. As a teen, I worked for the Carter campaign. I felt proud to support a peanut farmer from Georgia. Happy 100th, Jimmy! And now, I am proudly supporting the first woman presidential candidate.

Tonight, as I listened to Kamala Harris deliver a speech, I felt overwhelmed in so many ways. I believe in Kamala, I support her, and I have faith that she will continue to lift our country up and uphold the values of our Constitution.

Tonight, I also felt a great fear when I thought of the evil that pervades America and the evil one who wants to turn our America over to Vladimir Putin.

This man states that when he gets into the White House, we won’t have to worry about elections because there won’t be any more elections. I know in my heart this is true. He will not be in charge. Instead, he will hand over the reins to Putin.

My heart breaks when I dwell on this atrocious reality that our America, our United States, will no longer be the land of the free, nor the home of the brave.

To calm myself and ease my thoughts, I sat outside for a long time tonight. As I sat, I watched my two pups running free and playing happily. I drew myself back to long ago days in music class, and I just sat on the porch swing and sang. Oh, beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountains majesties, above the fruited plain…America, America, God shed his grace on thee, and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea.

I love my country. I love every square inch of it. I love the diversity within this country. I love that I can sit outside and sing in my backyard.

However, I am mightily afraid that if this madman, who throws money around to get people to do his bidding, is allowed into the Presidency again, he will dismember every law, every constitutional right our forefathers drafted in the U.S. Constitution.

We’ve all seen his evil hand wave, and suddenly, just like that, women lost the right to have control of their own bodies. The man pulled out his wallet, the gold glittered, and Judas won again. Our country has been crucified.

Mama Told Me Not To Come…

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I have wondered… and now I know. How could his court case and all charges just be randomly dismissed. Hmmm… by promising the sitting judge a seat on a “higher” court when “he” wins again. How could any sane individual dare to storm the White House, maim, kill, incite riots, chaos, and fear? By sending out a call that he’ll line their pockets with gold and promises of more, they will come in droves. Insanity? Greed? Manipulation? How can anyone NOT be afraid when they are promised that after this election, there won’t be any more elections. Shades of Hitler float through my mind. Will we have another madman nominated as Time Magazines Man of the Year as Hitler was in 1938. Dear God, please, I really wish I could wake up from this nightmare.
If my words offend, forgive me. I am practicing my right to freedom of speech now, for this right may disappear in the next year. Vote responsibly.

Long Days Journey into Night

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Today has been a long days journey into night…. a good day, work, talking with friends, making sure the dogs got plenty of exercise…. Then out in yard, weeding the garden, checking the plants, watering, and ending up soaked in sweat from the heat and humidity. Long hot shower… laying on the bed contemplating life., thinking, asking Alexa to play something by John Denver…. The song began, Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy, sunshine in my eyes can make me cry…. sunshine…. the song made me think of my husband, of how long he’s been gone, and how much I still miss him. I gazed up at the wall and pondered over a crack that has been meandering along for months now, yet I haven’t patched it. I thought about the wall…. how smooth it used to be, how unblemished, how the soft green color made the room feel cool and peaceful. And now, this meandering crack has dared to mark the wall. My mind wandered, and as I often do, I created an analogy between the crack in the wall and life. It’s been six, no seven years since I lost him… seems like yesterday, seems like forever. That crack is like my life since he’s been gone. At times, it lies open and vulnerable, and at other times, it squeezes itself tight against the flow as if to stop the memories. This crack meanders down, down, slowly down, and then suddenly, it turns. As it turns, the crack grows smaller, thinner, less disturbing, as though time is beginning to mend the heart that remains broken, as if time can heal the hurt…. and yet still, a small glimmer of the past haunts me as the crack begins to run back up the wall, and suddenly stops. I can still feel his strong arms around me, see the sparkle in his eyes when he laughed, and know he loved me deeply. Life is a lot like that crack in the wall… You never know what twists and turns will come, and you’ll never know what lies ahead. Yet, sunshine on my shoulders still makes me happy. Sunshine in my eyes still makes me cry,…. and sometimes a crack in the wall is just a crack in the wall ~ unless you’re me, the girl with a never-ending imagination… Blessings, Susan



Fear and Loathing in America

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In the uneasy, sometimes frightening, political arena that we find ourselves in, it is good to look at the past in order to make wise decisions for our country’s future. When you look at the confusion bantered about in today’s political arena, it is frightening. Rather than discuss and debate the issues facing our country, we see argument after argument break out amongst the people who supposedly have been delegated to uphold our Constitution and the Bill of Rights. It is our leaders, as well as the citizens’, responsibility to strive for peace. 

In observing who we as a people have selected to represent us, one should look back, as well as, look towards the future. Is this a person who is trustworthy, honest, caring, and one we can truthfully put our fairh in to do the right thing. We as Americans need to stand up and remind our leaders that once elected you are no longer democrats or republicans. You are one government that has been tasked to support our U.S. Constitution. Our constitution was written to support and protect all the people, not just Republicans, not just Democrats. Our constitution provides rules and laws to allow people to live their lives in a country that supports life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for all people.

At this moment, our constitution is dying, falling apart, being dismissed. How and why is this happening? Many of the men and women who are running for election and those currently in office are acting like bullies on the playground. Their rhetoric basically translates to the followimg statement, “If I don’t get my way, I’m going to beat you up!” “Meet me at the water tower after school, and I’ll show you who’s in charge!” “You’re ugly, and everybody hates you!’ “You’re wrong, I’m right, and I can take you out at anytime!”

This childish, undisciplined rhetoric is embarrassing and a hell of a scary mess! Our country currently sits on a precipice of uncertainty, fear, and disdain. At this point, it is a laughing stock to the world. Grown men and women running for office and already in office becoming bullies. They have become instigators of violence, and they believe that opening their pockets is the constitutional way to gain votes. Please take note! Our very freedoms are at risk.

As a historian, I am haunted by the similarities between the beginnings of Hitler’s reign in Germany and his subsequent reign of terror upon the peoples of Germany and the countries surrounding Germany. This madman, Adolf Hitler, was chosen as Time Magazine’s Man of the Year in 1938. This madman caused the imprisonments, mutilations, and deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. He created a campaign that caused massive fear, wars, inhumane deaths, and the separation of thousands of families. His reign of terror impacted the lives of every innocent man, woman, and child living during his reign.

If you do not know who Hitler was, or you do not know about the atrocities that happened in Germany, or you are unfamiliar with the terrors of World War 1 or World War 2, blame our educational system. About fifteen years ago, schools decided children were too fragile to be exposed to historical events that might scare them. Due to this, any unhappy history has been shaved down and edited out of the history books. Even more frightening, in some schools, history has been completely eradicated. Why is this important? Without a thorough knowledge of history, the same mistakes will be made over and over again. Sadly, too many events that happened within our own country have been eliminated from the history books. Nasty wars… who needs to remember this! We do!

Not everything in life is a bowl of cherries, not everything’s coming up roses, nor is everything a cute Disney movie. Life does not promise us perfection. Yet, each of us is responsible for upholding and following the laws of our country, the United States of America. Look at this name… The United States of America, and remember that united we stand, but divided we fall. There are those among us who emulate Hitler. They are waiting for our country to collapse, waiting to swoop in and take over, waiting for an unwitting country to open the door and invite the monster in. 

Yesterday, I learned Louisiana has stated that the Ten Commandments must be posted in all public schools. Then today, I heard the Texas government voted in favor of the same thing. I am a believer in Christ, I am a believer in the love of Christ. I am also an educator. As an educator in today’s classrooms, I teach a multitude of students from many different countries, religions, and races. Everyone of these students  is valuable. Everyone deserves to have the right to worship and believe in their own way, without others forcing everyone to adopt the christian beliefs. Our founding fathers were wise enough to understand this, so they included separation of church and state within the U.S. Constitution. Why does our current government have the right to change our Constitution? Christ himself would be ashamed and throw them out of the temple. If such a matter is brought up and brought to light, the people of the state of Texas should have the right to vote on any such law being passed. I do not feel that our elected state representatives have the right to take a vote without the people of our state being informed. They have broken the laws of our Constitution by imposing this mandate upon the state. Be aware, Texas has many, many wonderful citizens from many countries and different religions. If you impose a rule that the Ten Commandments shall be placed in every classroom in every public school, then all religions, such as, Judaism: the Tanakh, Christianity: the Apocrypha and the New Testament, Islam: the Quran, Confucianism: the Analects of Confucius, Hinduism: the Rig Veda, and Buddhism: the Dhammapada should also be posted within schools.

I am appalled by the thought that this vote was made without allowing the people’s voices to be heard. Please, no matter who you are, stop, think, and vote responsibly in upcoming elections. It is each individual’s right to decide on his or her personal religious and spiritual beliefs without the government imposing laws that are actually unconstitutional.

As you ponder this post, remember these words: We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Our government should not mandate what religion should be displayed or followed in schools. When they do so, they are breaking down the very structures of our United States Constitution. I pray for our country that we will overcome the hatred and bigotry that is being handed out by too many “good old boys” who have somehow wormed their way into our government, and whom are trying to destroy our constitutional rights as citizens of this great United States.

This is not the blog I had planned to post this week, but it is essential that everyone is made aware of elected officials who have taken it upon themselves to rewrite our constitutional laws, and in doing so, are endangering your constitutional rights, as well as mine. I do not take this lightly, and I pray, neither do you.

Blessings,

Susan

What’s Wrong with Long Beautiful Hair in Schools… this debate has been going on for 50+ years! Why? Why? Why? How can long hair deter learning?

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As far back as the 1960’s, this issue has raged throughout society. Those in charge felt they should be able to discriminate hair length based on gender. Hair length for boys and men determined whether they were admitted into many public places, such as churches and schools.

Today, it shocked me to hear this argument still exists! What does the length of one’s hair have to do with learning. What gives anyone the right to dictate someone’s hair length or discriminate between males and females. Hair length does not interfere with learning!

Sadly, many outdated policies and outdated school rules have become the bain of our society. Especially in Texas, where there is a definite good old boy system that needs to go away.

In the 70’s, the lyrics to the song HAIR by the Cowsill’s rang out loud and clear in protest to school districts and those “in charge” who restricted hair growth for males in schools and even in society.

The Cowsills spoke out in protest even though they were what was called clean cut… here’s a little bit of their lyrics…

Excerpt from the song HAIR by the Cowsills

Gimme a head with hair
Long, beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there (hair)
Shoulder length or longer (hair)
Here, baby, there, mama
Everywhere, daddy, daddy

Hair (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Grow it, show it
Long as I can grow it
My hair

For myself, I had long, beautiful hair most of my growing up years because my mom loved my long hair. However, I wanted shoulder-length hair so I could easily take care of it myself. I finally won this battle in 8th grade.

However, during the 60’s and 70’s the battle for males to be accepted with long  hair escalated to the point that young men who chose to wear their hair long were chastised by the very society they lived in and supported. These young men protested a society that rejected them when all they really wanted was to be accepted for who they were, not by their physical appearance, not by the length of their hair.

Hair is only one element of the discrimination that permeates our country. There are so many people who choose to forget that we as individuals have been granted human rights through our constitution. The right to life, liberty, justice, and the pursuit of happiness. These constitutional rights include the freedom to grow our hair long, cut it short, or even shave our heads. Hair length does not hurt anyone. Hair length does not impede learning. Hair length is a personal choice. Until we, as a nation, stand up against this mindset, discrimination will continue in our cities, states, and country.                       

If you scroll back through history, many of the noblemen and women grew their hair long, and no one told them they were unacceptable because of their long hair. Today, because I chose to watch the local news, I feel outraged that the battle of long hair for boys still makes headlines. As a lifelong educator, I feel outraged that a school district is more concerned with a young man’s hair length than with his education. As a native Texan, I feel outraged that our courts sided with the school district.

What are your thoughts? How do you feel? For myself, I believe we are individuals. We are granted human rights. We are granted life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness through our very constitution. And yet, hate and discrimination still exist in the very places that are designed to educate and promote equality.      

Rant over.

As a young teen, I never thought I’d be writing my own “love story” one day. You know the one that Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw portrayed so many years ago.

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I was barely thirteen when I first saw that movie. It was magical sitting in that darkened theater watching a great love bloom. Then mere moments later, I found myself perched anxiously on the edge of the seat as the story unfolded, and the characters fell apart when they found out her diagnosis was terminal. 

The emotion that poured off that screen first filled my heart with joy, then fear, and finally, a deep sadness. The actors’ passion spoke volumes, projecting deeply personal moments of intimacy, which poured out of the screen and filled the entire theater with a sense of longing.

At the end, the theater sat silent for what felt like an eternity, but most likely consisted of only a few moments. And then, everyone drifted quietly out, silently lost in their own thoughts as they headed home. 

That story, that passion, that emotion has stuck with me for decades. 

Yet, nothing prepares you for the ending. You hold on to every little scrap of hope, every little moment. You are filled with a deep anticipation of longing… longing for a miracle, anticipating the moment when the world will right itself again, the moment joy will flow out like a raging river. Yet, these moments never came. The ending became the reality. The ending became the truth.

That portrayal of a tragic love story spoke volumes of the reality of life, of the imperfection within our humanity. Its reality is one that we pray our emotions will only express while we’re watching it on the big screen.

It is so easy to be drawn in to the story of one great love that surpasses all understanding. It is easy to watch two beautiful people fall in love on the big screen. One never anticipates the ending… nor the middle of the story. We only want to experience the joy, the desire, the magic of true love. 

In that theater, I felt every emotion as two people’s lives cascaded with joy, fell into despondency, then acceptance, and finally, that last goodbye. Less than two hours on a very emotional rollercoaster leaves one breathless.

In the film, the main characters were perfect and beautiful. Their love story felt epic and touched my heart deeply. After all these years, I can still feel that sense of desire. I still feel the deep, sensual love between the two characters. Everyone could feel joy bursting out of the screen as the characters experienced their first moments falling in love. It escalated and swelled as that roller coaster of emotion swept over the audience. Then it rolled on, and on, and on. At one point it felt as if the track just disappeared as the characters stared down into a chasm of despair. A feeling of disbelief filled the space within the theater. A sigh, a tear, a moment of contemplation rolled through the aisles. And in the end, the pain experienced by the two lovers overwhelmed the audience. Faces became wet with tears, tissues appeared out of purses and pockets, and the world walked at a slower gait as moviegoers trudged out of the theater.

Moments later, their lives brightened as they stepped back into the comfort of their own lives.

I remember crying as Ali Macgraw’s character passed into the light, and O’neal sat holding her as she took her last breath. This moment held too much emotion to experience within such a short amount of time, especially for a young, vulnerable teen. 

I look back at this movie and remember that roller coaster ride. It was one of the first times I’d felt and experienced the many emotions of true love, albeit, in a movie.

Sometimes, an emotionally charged movie, such as Love Story, fills you with high expectations of what true love is. Then you find yourself seeking and searching for that special soul who completes you. Many, many years later, I found my Ryan O’Neal, my true love. In the short years we had together, I felt treasured. My love story fulfilled and completed me. Yet, unexpectedly, our love story ended just as unexpectedly as the movie had. The reality of such loss cannot be compared to the big screen. For you cannot merely walk out of the theater and continue your everyday life. It takes time to synthesize all the emotion and overcome the grief. Yet, as time goes by, I know that true love does last forever… even if it’s only in one’s heart.❤️

Blessings,

Susan K. Earl

Writing Words

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As in all things we humans set out to accomplish, we have no control over the “real world.” When I began my blog, I set a goal. Yet, the real world enters, steals away a part of our lives, our loves, and leaves us barren and forlorn for a while.

Someday, I hope to return to this journey, and write daily in the hope to inspire others or even inspire and motivate myself. For now, I will revisit my previous blogs and writings in the hope they will rekindle a spark within me, and the joy and gift of writing will return to me.

A little phrase I wrote runs through my mind that shouts at me that I am not yet ready to return to the world of imagination and wonder found in writing…

Writing words… writing dirt… what used to come easy, is starting to hurt.

Yet, hope looms in a poem I once wrote… However, I will have to go dig it out and share it here another time. I am feeling far too lazy right now. I do remember that it ends with… hang on, one more time.

Blessings,

Susan

 

 

 

 

 

A Writer’s Journey ~ Come On Write With Me

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It’s been awhile since my last post, but sometimes life gets in the way, and you have to attend to other things. My goal is to continue this online journey. Though for tonight, I will just share some rambling thoughts…

I have always loved traveling on trains. Somehow they just draw me deep into the very spirit and essence of my past. It could be because I grew up as the daughter and granddaughter of railroad men, and trains have always been an essential part of my life. We lived just a few short blocks away from the tracks, but at night I could still hear the long, lonely sound of the train’s whistle as it rolled down the tracks. It was a comforting, homey sound to me. Today, I still love to hear the sound of the trains as they roll by, except of course if I’m running late for work!

My dad worked for the Texas and Pacific Railroad. The station he worked at still stands today, but only as a museum. You can still wander down through the tunnel under the tracks to get to the station house. My sisters and I loved to run through this tunnel and make as much noise as possible, just to hear our voices echoing back at us as we ran. In those days, the station was open and lively with folks rushing in to catch a passenger train. Freight trains rumbled by regularly, too. We spent many afternoons wandering through the station or standing out on the porch and watching the trains roll by. There was always the thought in the back of our minds that we might catch a glimpse of a hobo riding in an empty boxcar. My dad taught us early on to respect the power of trains and to always stay back from the railroad tracks. There were always horror stories of what might happen if we encountered a moving train. Yet, it was still an exciting experience to walk beside the signalman as he swung his lamp to signal a train that it was fine to pull on into the station.

Several poignant memories of this old railroad yard still prevail within me. I remember the first time I rode all by myself on a passenger train to visit my grandparents. My dad tucked me up in the last car with the conductor and instructed me to stay put. I was only six at the time, so I did just that. It was really cool when the conductor took time to sit with me and chat. He even took me up to the dining car and bought me a snack along the way. The next few summers I traveled up to my grandparent’s house on the train with my sister. I loved the swaying of the train as you walked through the cars, and it was always a thrilling adventure to go on the open platform between cars and see only a chain separating you from the outside world and hard ground below.

We took several trips on the train in “sleeping compartments”. This was a really unique experience and quite an adventure for my sisters and me. We loved how the bed pulled down from the ceiling and we had to be lifted up into it because it was so high up (at least in our eyes).

Years passed by and the passenger trains were slowly phased out. Only freight trains rumbled through the depot for quite a while. Then came an earth shattering event. At least it was to my dad. I was fifteen at the time, and there was nothing I wanted to do less than this… but the first Amtrack train was going to stop at the depot… at four a.m.! My dad rolled us all out of bed in the middle of a cold winter’s night, and we all bundled up and headed out to watch as the first passenger train in years rolled into the station. I can still see us standing there huddled together, everyone excited except me. I was a teenager, and you know how teenagers can be! Even so, that treasured memory has remained with me all these years.

Sometimes I think it’s rather sad that our children have never had the “train” experience. Next week, we’ve planned a trip to East Texas to take our grandsons on a steam train ride through the David Crockett National Forest. I hope this train ride will evoke happy memories for the boys when they look back on it in future years.

I’ll leave you with a potion of an Arlo Guthrie song, and I hope I have stirred up some special memories for some you who understand that haunting pull when you hear that lonesome sound.

“Riding on the City of New Orleans, Illinois Central, Monday morning rail, fifteen cars and fifteen restless riders, three conductors, and twenty-five sacks of mail. All along the southbound Odyssey
the train pulls out of Kankakee and rolls along the houses, farms and fields… Good morning America, how are you?Say don’t you know me, I’m your native son. I’m the train they call the City of New Orleans, I’ll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done.”~ Arlo Guthrie

A Writer’s Journey ~ Come On, Write With Me

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As with all things in life, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. It may appear that I am very slow in accomplishing my goals, but I will never be a book a year author. My goal is not to rush through and push out a new book, rather it’s to let it grow of its own accord. This cocoon is squirming as metamorphosis occurs. My original plot struggles to survive and hopefully emerge renewed as my research continues. My hope is that time and patience will soon reveal an exciting plot and realistic characters to me.
I recently reread the first few “pages” of my proposed book, and I know that somehow these characters will make it into my next novel, but oh my goodness, the primary sources I’ve had the privilege of interviewing are amazing and are totally overwhelming me. I believe I have enough for three or four novels. Now, I must sort through and let the music of these souls speak to me as they come together to share a story with you.
It will be extremely fulfilling to complete this endeavour after these many months of pondering and pouring over the most fascinating information, but as they say, “Good things come to those who wait.” I am excited for the wait to end and the story to take control of my keyboard. It has already taken control of my heart.